Pacifier - Update

So I have tried with no pacifier for about a week and a half and it seemed to go quite well. It was easier than I thought it would be and seemed to become a success story. So I thougth. He fell asleep quick and stayed asleep longer. I was pleasantly surprised and thought that the pacifier was "snow from yesterday" (German saying). But then all of a sudden all went downhill. He would cry at night almost every hour and nothing seemed to calm him down untill I would nurse him. But it couldn't be that he would be hungry each hour and I couldn't give him my breast everytime. If so i might as well superglue him on my chest. I tried giving him supstitutes to a paci like a stuffed animal or a blanky to hold on to but he wouldn't calm down instead his screams were becoming louder and worse. One day I decided to give him back the paci (though being hesitant about it) and he fell asleep almost instantly, not waking up for 4-5 hours. So in the end I decided to give him back his precious paci with the intention to try not to let him become too stronlgy attached to it. I am now giving him the paci only at night times and when we are out and about. Well, what can I say. I believe that it was too early for him to say goodbye to his paci and taking it away "cold turkey" was apparently too harsh of me which he made himself clear of. Every baby is different. I grew up with no paci and had only a bottle as long as I was fed with milk and went straight to cup. I can't even remember any time that I was helding a bottle. It was my mistake to think that maybe Finley was the same like me. *sigh* I kind of feel bad about it and hope my sweet Finley can forgive his mother's cruel action of taking away his paci. I guess I was subconsciously somehow trying to make him like me or to make him be the way I think he should be. Very wrong thing to do! I learned my lesson through this realization. I want my Finley to be who he is and not as I like him to be. So if he looooves his paci (though I rather want him to be without it) he shall be allowed to have it. I know for the future that I want my son to have the freedom to chose what he wants and likes, the freedom to be who he is and not the way I think he should be. Of course I will guide and teach him all I know as his parent in hopw that he will make good life decisions. But I don't want him to feel he has to be a certain way to please me or receive my love and acceptance. Well, who thought that such a simple pacifier issue can reveal such psychologial deepness, isn't it?